Till when? Till I am free from this busy period and have a week off. A few week have passed by since the last entry. I am still busy like 6 days a week working 12 hours at the office, come back and do some more computer work. I spend 4 hours of my Sunday on some computer work again. I worked o 3 of my last 4 holidays and that’s why I was not able to update my blog.
It is getting colder here in Japan. Tomorrow the lowest temperature in my city will be around 34 F and the highest will be around 50 F. Well I now ride only inside my house barring commuting time. I ride 5 to 10 km on a road outside and ride 30 inside. I ride inside partly because it is completely dark outside during early hours and night (I get off work after 20:00) and it is dangerous to ride a long distance but I ride inside not least because I can pedal and watch videos.
As I wrote somewhere before, I am teaching English but at the same time a student of English myself, too and want to improve my English, too. Ever since I was attracted by the US and attracted by its culture and language 42 years ago without being aware of it and became aware of it about 38 years ago, I have been in love with English, especially American English and devoted my life to it by learning and teaching it. I home-stayed in Missouri, I went to English language department, I got MA in American literature and I went to MA course in teaching English in graduate school in Vermont (I did not submit MA thesis and failed to get a degree but I got all the credits. At that time I wanted to experience school life in the States with making friends, which had been a dream of my life time (come to think of it, I want to do it again if I ever have a chance!) and did not care about a degree much. I have MA already though it is in literature major). Then when I became 48 years old last year, I got fired up again. In Japan people use Chinese zodiac system and 12 years is one unit. And when you go 5 rounds, you complete a big circle and get back to the starting point again. Until recently, we did not used to have that long life span as we are enjoying today, it almost meant the end of life itself and the life after it is like an encore for an orchestra.
So I have this feeling that my time is pressing on me. I don’t think my life will end there but I feel that I have to sum up my life there even if I should have a couple round of 12 years after that. So when I look back on my life, I devoted myself to learning American English, its culture and everything about America, good side and dark side, too. I really feel grateful to my host father and mother, siblings I had back when I was 18 years old. They really accepted my as their family. I can still feel the water of Table Rock lake in Shell Knob and can see everyone’s face through my inner eyes. I am more than grateful to many of my classmates in graduate school in Vermont. When I talked about how I had been hovering between Japan and US (in a course of learning English, I excised many “Japanese portions in myself, which wound up giving me some unacceptable traits to some of the “traditional” Japanese people), they warmly offered me to come to their side. Each one of experience I had, especially with “American people,” made my love for them and their country deep and strong. That is why though I see many dark sides of the nation once in a while, I still love this country and its people.
Well, I am sorry to have been running on like this. Today, maybe because I have been under heavy stress lately, I cannot stop writing all these. I am spelling out something which have been deep inside of me. So, I am studying English, especially American English. I am brushing up on my pronunciation, grammar, vocabulary so that some day I can be an American in terms of language (It is difficult to do it in other ways when you have a stable job, wife and kids. I haven’t given up on it, though). And I am doing it not to prove anything to anybody or think of “quid quo pro” of any kind. I just want to achieve it to round my life up with it. Maybe I want to be as close to America, my dream land. And to return from the huge digression, I am riding my stationary bike inside my house on my stationary bike because then I can watch NBC podcast, ipodU and DVDs of American sitcom to enjoy and improve my English.
Well I don’t know how to wrap up this unorganized “lay-baring” of my mind. I would like to end my strange entry by shouting out, “Thank you America and I love you all the people out there.”
PS Seriously, I am once again really sorry that I was kind of out of control and have been bubbling on. From next time, I would like to go back to introduction of Japan and all.